I would like to share another personal experience. When I
was living in Mexico, a friend of mine shared with other friends and myself
that she had decided to change her religion, she would no longer be Catholic. In
the first moment I thought she would not be able to be present in my Catholic wedding
and her decision would be an impediment for us to be friends –taking into
consideration that all my friends were Catholic. After thinking and reflecting
on my worries I found out that my fears did not make sense, she was my friend
and I had to respect her decisions so this was what I did. After all, she
attended to my wedding, we are still good friends, and nothing has changed our
relationship. This friend taught me that sharing the same religion was not what
made us friends; it is just accepting who and how we all are what matters.
Definitely, I need to start behaving in a respectful way
towards my neighbors and others, in order to be competent and establish
intercultural communication (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). I also have to
pay more attention when other people communicate, in order to learn the different
ways they use to communicate and address their issues. Something else I need to
reflect on is my personality (Vuckovic), because it is a factor that influences
my communication, especially now that I am aware that my shyness is keeping me
away from relating to people who share about the same environment, like my
neighbors.
References
Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal
communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action.
Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.
Caty - my family had a similar experience when my brother and sister in law wanted to leave the Church. Personally, I love being Catholic but I had to do some deep thinking and realize that not everyone feels like I do and accept. As I've gotten older I have learned so much about Christianity and how at the core we all share the same faith - it has become easier to communicate with people outside of Catholicism.
ReplyDeleteCaty,
ReplyDeleteMy husband said that I have a face, personality, and attitude that looks unapproachable. I beg to differ. He has told me that when he first saw me I looked mean and hateful. He lived across the street from me. I probably did at that moment because I had just gotten out of a 10 year relationship that left me bitter. I explained to him that I had to take time to learn how to be by myself and that is all I was doing. He credits my son to us being together.
We have just moved into a new neighborhood. Each time we would come and check on the house before it was ready, we would always meet someone in the neighborhood. I came home from work Monday and found a package leaning on my door from the community welcoming committee. I hope I don't portray that image to them. I learned in a previous class about our social identities. They make us part of a group, but we can still be friends because it is who we are on the inside that matters the most. How we treat each other and the respect that we show each other is the substance that binds us together in our relationships. Or at least that is how I feel.
Learning about yourself is huge when we are talking about communication. A colleague at work comes across very negative and uninterested based on her facial expressions and body language, but she is actually kind of shy and reserved and not as confrontation as people make her out to be. I have learned a lot about prejudging people based on what I first thought of her and what I think about her now that we have worked together for over a year. I made assumptions that were wrong and I have learned to get to know others before I judge them. When you get to know someone it really helps make you a better communicator.
ReplyDeleteHi Caty, being aware of your shyness is a great beginning. We need to know ourselves well, before we can make changes in the ways in which we relate to others. I hope things warm up a little with your neighbors from India... Be observant and possibly you will be able to understand more why he seems so serious to you
ReplyDelete